【班門弄斧、越俎代庖】 張錯《美麗與哀愁》試譯

 

《美麗與哀愁》

我已經了解到生命中  

唯一的美麗──

就是在可能與不可能的認知裡 

發覺了某種不可抗拒的可能；

譬如在一個陰霾密佈的早晨，

驅車到十里外的市鎮，

靜靜的飲著咖啡或檸檬茶，

在淡薄荷的氣味裡，

關切地聆聽生命趨向成熟中 

某一章回的內心獨白，

也許是歸宿的渴切，

也許是獨身的探求；

然後在中午的一杯白葡萄酒後，

低頭輕啜著小口的法式洋蔥湯，

在粉紅鮭魚和雪白海貝之間，

似乎有一顆透明的淚，

在掉與未掉之間

能與不能之間

悄然為了某一刻的深情傾注 

眼神的美麗 

而輕輕垂下。

而我更明白在生命中 

唯一的哀愁──

竟然是在有限度的可能裏 

發現它本身全然不可能的事實，

譬如在大雨傾注的下午裏，

任何姿態的擁抱均是徒然，

任何終身的私訂均是空言，

只有在某一刻檸檬酸澀的寒顫裏，

才會憶起某一個山城的春夜──

唇間殘酒的餘味還在，

午夜夢醒的齒痕還在；

至於曾經依偎在右衣領的氣息，

則似乎已被雨後的晚風 

緩慢而有恒地散拂，

彷彿在生命無盡的嬗變裏，

永遠旋繞交替著──

陰天與晴天，

展望與追悔，

噢！可能與不可能！

還有那從未短缺過的──

美麗與哀愁。

《Beauty and Sorrow》

I now understand  

the only kind of beauty in life──

That is, in the cognition of the possible and the impossible

the discovery of some possibility irresistible; 

Like, in a morning of heavy haze,

driving to a town ten miles away,

quietly drinking coffee or lemon tea,

amidst the fragrant of mint so faint,

listening concernedly to the monologue in a certain chapter

of life getting mature,

maybe it is the thirst for family,

maybe the exploration of being single;

And after a glass of white wine in the afternoon,

bowing to sip a mouth of Soupe à l'oignon,

among the pink salmon and the snowy clam,

there seems to be a transparent tear, 

about to fall and not yet

quietly, due to a moment of profound devotion 

the beauty of the glance,  

hanging gently.

And I know even better

the only kind of sorrow in life──

That turns out to be, within the limited possibility,

the discovery of the fact that it is absolutely impossible;  

Like, in an afternoon of pouring rain,

embraces in whatever postures are always in vain,

any words of commitment are vacuous,

Only in some moment of shiver of lemony sour and bitter

would a certain spring night in the mountain city be remembered──

the taste of the wine left between the lips remains,

the bite mark of the midnight wakening remains;

as to the breath once nestling against the right collar,

it seems to have been, by the evening breeze after the rain,

slowly and constantly dispersed,

as if in the endless transmutation of life

eternally intertwining and alternating──

gloomy and gunny days,

prospects and regrets

Oh! the possible and the impossible

And, which are never in lack──

Beauty and Sorrow.